Great Expectations

*****This appeared in FP with a different title by G Khamba*****

Dear Rahul,

Please, stop talking. Since you’re a symbol of the youth of this country, I will try and explain the situation to you.

 You see Rahul, there are very few of us left who, despite your party’s shambolic governance record, are still willing to hear you out. This is not because you are god’s gift to man as sycophants around you would have you believe, but only because we disagree ideologically with the right. Every time you open your mouth not only does it become harder to take you seriously, but you also embarrass us in public, you are like those few hot chicks who manage to gather all the attention of crowd but crash it down to floor the moment they start speaking. 

First, please stop invoking your family every damn time because you think it builds an “emotional connect”. You’re not inside a Dhara cooking oil advertisement that you have to shout “my daddy strongest”. Every governmental scheme and every third road or infrastructure project is already named after your family so you don’t have to remind people of their existence. And I don’t know if you’re familiar with the word irony, but I'm pretty sure talking about the value of democracy and then citing Indira Gandhi’s leadership in the same breath counts as an example. It’s as laughable as Narendra Modi chastising the UP government for its law and order problem and being unable to control communal riots. I know talking about which family you belong to and how powerful they are is a Delhi thing, but don’t say you’re the party of the future if you’re going to live in the past.

Second, don’t keep invoking your rural travels as something that makes you understand India. Thousands of foreign students come to work in rural India every year to “discover themselves” and “be outside their comfort zones”, but that doesn't make them fit to be prime minister. I was pained at hearing in a recent speech that 25,000 mosquitoes bit you in Bundelkhand. On the bright side, now you know what it feels like when someone uninvited comes and eats what you have. The bigger revelation here is that in BJP ruled states even mosquitoes are underdeveloped and poor: 25,000 mosquitoes bit you and nothing happened, but mere hundreds in Sheila’s Delhi caused a dengue epidemic. Another thing I found amusing was how you told a crowd in Indore, “we make more roads, railway lines and airports than BJP”. Three minutes later you went ahead to say, “people make a country, not roads”. While both might be true in isolation, can I humbly request you to stick to propaganda points that don’t sound contradictory? If you’re talking about uplifting the poor through the Food Security Bill maybe don’t say things like poverty is a state of mind? It’s not a chapter of The Secret where you tell poor people that if you want something bad enough you'll get it. If you know your speech has already gone on too long, can you not say, “I’ll talk more because I'm in the mood”? You make it sound like an old couple that hasn't had sex in a long time, but one of them suddenly gets turned on. Finally, for the love of god can you not say things like “If India is a computer, the Congress is its default program”? When you use the words computer and default, people think Windows and the last thing you want people to associate your party with is viruses, constant crashes and missing data files.
Regards,
People who voted for congress ever since.

Political dividends in mind

Not even a single Indian irrespective of the religion he follows shall endorse Vishwa Hindu Parishad's move to perform 84-Kosi Yatra, given the fact that the same had already been performed in its ritually suitable dates.

*****This appeared in The Hindu*****

It is a pattern with bullies that they back off when challenged. Ground reports from Ayodhya and neighbouring areas suggest that the Vishwa Hindu Parishad exhibited this typical trait on day one of its fortnight-long “84-kosi parikrama,” now renamed a “yatra.” With the principal dramatis personae rounded up and placed under house arrest, the inauguration of the yatra fizzled out, though it is difficult to say whether the peace will hold. Just why the right-wing Hindu organisation renamed its programme is a story in itself. It turns out that seers attached to Ayodhya’s different akharas (religious traditions) had ritually performed the parikrama three months ago, in accordance with the Hindu calendar period of Chaitra Purnima extending up to Baisakh Navami (April-May, 2013). Not surprisingly, as our field report recounts, there is anger among the Ayodhya priests over the VHP misinterpreting the Hindu ritual with political dividends in mind. Last heard, they were busy organising a “siddhi-buddhi yagna,” praying for the VHP to gain wisdom. That the yatra has been intended with electoral calculations ahead of the 2014 Lok Sabha election is apparent from its suddenness. Indeed, relative calm had prevailed coinciding with the chief ministership of Mayawati, who, notwithstanding her other faults, kept a hawk-like watch on law and order in Uttar Pradesh.


The reason for the renewed tensions has been attributed to the Samajwadi Party’s interest in occupying the opposite side of the communal divide. A noticeable escalation in sectarian incidents has marked the tenure of Akhilesh Yadav. And yet, the Chief Minister deserves praise for acting firmly in this instance. The tight measures, including detention of the VHP’s top-order, were required because there was enough in the build-up to the yatra to suggest it could turn violent. Unlike the April-May parikrama that concluded peacefully largely because it stuck to the traditional route, the VHP’s yatra was deliberately designed to go through communally sensitive areas. Against this backdrop, it was incumbent on the Bharatiya Janata Party to rein in its troublesome affiliate, establishing thereby that it had left behind its divisive past and evolved into a mature political party capable of acting impartially when required. Unfortunately, the BJP has not only lent full support to the VHP, arguing that the yatra was a fundamental right, on Monday it disrupted Parliament over the issue. This overt support to the VHP does not square with the BJP’s stated claim that it will contest the next general election on the platform of good governance and development. When there is ample ammunition at hand to deploy against the Congress on the corruption front, why the BJP would choose to rake up a divisive, communal issue is anybody’s guess.

Poly Doon....

Polythene bag ban to be imposed from Monday....********  This appeared on THE HINDU on March 14th 2013

Ever evolving usage of Polythene bags by almost every household in Uttarakhand is one of the most thought upon menace to the society and to the environment as well. Recent strenuous initiative by the Uttarakhand government to curb the usage of polythene bags in the open marker is laudable. The movement received a great support from all scores of society and will be marked as a commendable step in the state Government's report card. Whatever might be the original character of this highly praised move by the state government, it has become a challenge for the administrators in order to make it a complete story of success.

Initially everybody felt enthusiastic with the move but slowly and gradually citizens have started falling to their same old habit of using these bags, often without any regret or shame on their faces. There are many instances wherein I myself came across shopkeepers giving things in poly bags. When asked, they said nobody has ever imposed any fine for using these bags, how could they realise that what they are doing is sheer disrespect to the ban.

One wonders where are the so called social saviours-NGOs-of city hidden, why aren't they picketing the municipal offices so as to make the ban stricter. And if they cant they should stop pretending to be the well wishers of the commoners. To my consternation, in all the twelve districts of Himachal Pradesh polythene is completely banned, nobody can even dare to hide his head in rain with a polythene bag. When a state like HP can implement this measure so diligently and encourage its residents to say no to polybags why cant uttarakhand, given that geographical location of HP is equally hilly as it is of Uttarakhand, in case any official finds an excuse in that. However,the statement that, the efficacy of the ban also relies and depends on the level of civic sense among the citizens,is somewhat correct keeping in mind the ignorance people show but it is still not enough to give officials a reason to shrug off without showing sincereness to the issue which it surely deserves.
    
Dehradun has again indulgently forgiven the administration and let them get away with such mismanagement.
But nevertheless, if there is any thing that doonites loathes, it is sheer disregard towards such a pristine environments that Dehradun has always boasted of. 

Its IPL sire!

With the ongoing rage over the IPL spot-fixing one wonders why the h*** on earth is police so much bound to get a hold of cricketers allegedly involved in spot-fixing, even when its just a case of Art. 420 under Indian Penal Code. In India we have so many more issues struggling for a deserving attention be it increasing cases of rape, molestation, harassment, poverty or burglary and not to forget these all social menaces are all the more important and seem personal to aam admi - or as one politician once said mango people.

The reason why this IPL magic or say cricket fever have managed to get all the brains of India -which it does not deserve in the first place- instead of diverting it to a nation building ideas is because we in India, have lot of spare time to invest with over 52% of unemployment rate looming over India, many can not think of spending this time in a better way. However, government policies are trying hard to make their places in society but many have gone for a toss-which is a different issue altogether which can be talked about later.

Readers might be thinking why am I bothered so much for this prevailing trend amongst the fellow citizens, reason lies in my own memories. I Still remember those days when days of ongoing cricket series had always grasped almost every cousin in my family into its steel clutches. And me, god forbid didn't even knew some of the basic essentials of this game. As I was, and still am, more interested in watching Bear Grylles performing some of his dare devil tasks in scorching heat in the Sahara or making his way out of a tropical Jungle or braving out a Black Mamba snake, my cousins were held hard for not missing even a single ball bowled. I was like, "common dude! don't you know all this is fixed there are even fair chances of  bookies having got their moollah staked to bet on the number of woos every ball missing the stumps is going to get, for which I had to face my cousin's stark and fierce look as if i have accused them of making the damn game fix.
oh come on!

But nevertheless, I'll do what I've always done -I'll resign my self to the fact that all these cricketwallahs are never going to get off that screen no matter how many many more involvements do Indian police bring to light. After all the dirtier it is in india the more famous it becomes .